she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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