Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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