We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
