he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
