Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did I show you my penis last night?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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