Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
