Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
