I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's official drugs can't kill me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
