im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You may now shotgun with the bride
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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