so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
