And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
