I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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