At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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