Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
