i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
