my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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