Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
