we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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