You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
