Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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