hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
time to smoke my breakfast
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
