Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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