I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
dude. I can hear the air.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize