I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
