Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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