I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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