im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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