also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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