I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
