So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
