"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
