Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
