Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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