The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got inside last night via doggy door
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
