our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
