This girl is more easily done than said...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
