whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My first STD was from a foam party
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
