be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Operation Purity has been aborted
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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