I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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