wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
