my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
