Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
