these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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