But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
