Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I will pee on everything he values.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
