I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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