looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
