don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
