all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
