it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
