ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
