i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
