I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
