Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
