at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
