But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
