My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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