dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
