Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize