Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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