today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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