I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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