we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
