WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
