omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
