I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
