yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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