I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize