pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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