im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
there is glitter all over my balls
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
